Sleep when you're dead
by AchtungBabyAchtung
Summary: ONE SHOT. Lily basically whining about stuff. Wrote it at about 4.00am so it could be more logical. Please R&R.


Just a one shot fic but kind of entertaining in a soppy kind of way.

Lots of love to Feltonsgirl190210 who is campaigning for reviewers for me because she's very, very kind to a poor reviewerless girl like me.

Anyhoo.

R&R please.

Sleep when you're dead

I brushed my hair out of my eyes, and realised I'd been falling asleep in the heat of the fire. I pressed my hand to my cheek and found it was burning. Crap. Overheating is not good for people with ridiculously pale skin. Especially if they have red hair. Especially especially if they aren't good at keeping their temper. Which unfortunately I'm not.

I should really have moved away from the fire, if I wanted to concentrate, but it was so bloody cold everywhere else. And I wasn't so sure I did want to concentrate. It was only a few days before the Christmas holidays and I had the last essay of the term to finish. Always a killer. And what's worse it was transfiguration. Not my best subject when I'm on top of my form. By that point I could barely string together a coherent sentence.

I read back what I had just written:

The wand movement required involves a pointy. It will stop the creepies, which tend to be easily confused with this spell.

What was that I was saying about coherent sentences?

I sighed and erased most of what I had written. I screwed my eyes up, hard then opened them as wide as possible.

Something caught my eye. Fireworks. How about that? Thought my overtired brain.

Wait a second, it then said. Why are there fireworks in the common room at midnight? I spotted James and Black in the midst of it. Ah, said my brain, That explains it.

It would have been quite funny actually; James had spelled one of the fireworks so it chased Sirius around the room, bouncing off any part of him it could find. It would have been funny. If I hadn't been so…..so in love with James. Would have been hilarious if I hadn't felt that everything he did…..was so…..perfect. If I hadn't let myself fall for someone I had made perfect. I rubbed a hand across my forehead.

I had made myself this trap but it didn't help one bit that I knew it. It was only my stupid pride that stood in my way. If I had said yes the first time he asked me I wouldn't be here now. I'd be over there, James' arms around me….

No. Probably not. I was only another notch on the wall when he first asked me. That's what I told myself anyway, or I might as well have just given up. But then I couldn't let him win when it was all for the chase, wouldn't give in. But, I wondered would it ever be worth more than that. Of course not.

I had been watching James while I thought this, and he seemed to feel it suddenly because he turned around and caught me before I could stare through him or turn away. He winked.

I tensed, tears suddenly pricking behind my eyes. I fought them back.

'Hey! Evans!'

Oh God, no, I knew what was coming and I knew there wasn't a thing in hell I could do to stop him.

Remus seemed to be thinking along the same lines and he whispered

'Don't do it James'

James raised his eyebrows.

'Why?'

Remus shook his head.

'Evans, will you go out with me?'

Anger suddenly welled up inside me and I yelled 'FUCK OFF' at the top of my voice.

I had lost control completely and furious tears were streaming down my face.

I threw myself down into my seat and stared into the fire, obstinately not looking anyone. Sirius wanted to stay and was whining loudly. Remus being the sweet abnormally tactful guy he is was pushing Peter and Sirius through the door all my friends who had been laughing at James and Co had also made rather hasty exits.

I was still staring but down at my transfiguration essay.

'You, uh, want a hand with that?' Said James awkwardly

'No, thank you' I said sharply 'I'm doing just fine'

'Uh, I hate to say it since you're so inexplicably pissed off, but….'

He gestured to the parchment. It had a title and a date. And some tear marks on it. And nothing else.

I laughed. A shuddery sort of laugh admittedly but a laugh nonetheless.

James sat down next to me.

'So.' He said

'I think I know what this is about'

My breath caught in my throat.

'I guess I should grow up and realise it.' He took a deep breath 'Last one, for old times sake'

I frowned slightly. He wasn't making any sense but I didn't like the way the conversation was going.

'If you tell me this time to go fuck myself, which' he laughed hollowly 'you would be well within your rights in doing, I won't ask you again'

Panic was rising in me, and before I could stop myself I had said

'No, I love you..'

Shit. I clapped my hands over my mouth but it was too late and the words were hanging between us.

I looked up and James eyes held mine. Something flickered in them and a slow grin spread itself. He's going to laugh at me, I thought and I turned to run. James caught my wrist as I spun round and pulled me towards him.

He kissed me and our momentum pulled us backwards over the chair.

My last thought coherent thought as I ran my hand through James' unruly hair was that I should really be sleeping considering I had that bloody essay to do tomorrow.

But it looked like I would have help there.

And anyway, time enough to sleep when you're dead.


End file.
